Three Years Ago

Almost exactly three years ago this week, Matt and I met with the doctor that would finally make our dreams of becoming parents a reality. With Amelia just turning two, that makes this year's National Infertility Awareness Week even more poignant. While we were open once we started an IVF cycle, we were already about three years into the process. It's an unbelievably hard and expensive road to go down and we were lucky to have the resources and support to do it. Even with Amelia's arrival the pain, the sadness and the loss we felt over the years has forever changed Matt and I. As I sit here I am starting to tear up thinking of a baby that we lost and the gut-wrenching weeks and months that followed. Of course if we'd had that baby we wouldn't have Amelia, but there's only so much that helps. UPDATED: I should have added Matt's original nickname for Amelia - SCIENCE!

Looking back at the journey, and especially the pregnancy, I know that it was the road we had to travel. Also, we really should have known that Amelia would be so full of life. In the first weeks of a pregnancy IVF patients get regular blood work counting your beta levels. For the first reading the doctor wants to see at least 200 and then have it double roughly every 48 hours. Amelia started at 650 and quadrupled every 48 hours for about 2 weeks. We were fairly confident that we were going to have twins. Even after we saw that there was only one baby I was pretty convinced there was another one hiding for about another month. Thankfully it wasn't twins, but Amelia does sometimes seem to have the energy of two children. She also had great timing in kicking her foot out so you could see if from the outside while I was in staff meetings and creeping out the guys I worked with. I'm not even going to start about the irony of a child that can't sleep past 6:30 to save her life being over two weeks late and having to be yanked out. I lost track of the number of times she kicked Teddy in the head, but thankfully Teddy still loves her and there's a mutual affection.

In short, please take a minute to read about the statistics and what you can do. 1 in 8 couples will suffer from infertility, including secondary infertility. It's a rough road and those traveling it can use all the support you can give. This election year, it's also become a political issue. With attacks on abortion, IVF and similar procedures also are affected. Our own state would have outlawed the procedures that brought our little munchkin to us, but finally rewrote those parts of the law. I don't care what your stance on abortion is, when you think life begins and what is the "right" thing to do. Those are all deeply personal issues that each person and couple needs to decide for themselves. What you think God is okay with is your decision; please don't make the decision for me. There is no one answer and I think it's always better to have options than to be told how you have to handle something.

 
In somewhat related news, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot do it all. While we already have help (house cleaners, dog walker and day care as the primary examples) the past year pushed the limits of what we as a family can sustain. Changes needed to be made and I was lucky enough that my office was willing to work with me. I will be going to a consultant position working roughly 60% time starting on July 1. The biggest impact that will have is that I will be traveling MUCH less. Of course the day I went to Chicago to attend a committee meeting and finalize these details, my flight coming home was delayed so much I ended up spending more time at O'Hare than in the office and got home at 2am. I'm am very happy with the change and I think it will allow for much more family time and a saner Alicia. While I appreciated making Executive Premier last year, I will be happy to give up all that flight time. I'm also hoping that I can cut down the number of times I lose my car in the airport parking lot to zero. Fingers crossed for a better 2012.