Mother's Day 2010 (also Amelia's one month birthday)
Mother's Day 2011
It has been quite a year. The baby that never stopped kicking in utero, turned into the infant that wanted to move so bad, to the toddler who runs full speed into anything, even if it's not a good idea. She's not afraid to speak her mind, even if you have no idea what she's saying. She loves her parents, but probably loves Teddy more. She cannot sleep without at least five books in her crib, because she "reads" herself to sleep and can't be rocked to sleep anymore. She loves to dance and twirl, and is never happier than when she is the center of attention. She believes all computer and phone backgrounds are pictures of her and is very confused when they're not. While she's not the biggest fan of plane rides, she been a fairly good traveler and is working to get to Premier status this year. She is a total joy and total chaos all in one bundle of energy.
While Mother's Day has now become more about me and Amelia, I do want to thank my moms, and my grandmothers, for everything that they taught me. While all my grandparents, except my step-mothers parents are now gone, my mother and my step-mom are both going strong. Some were in my life for a short period of time, and some for all of it, I feel their influence every day. Here are the top ten things I learned about life from them.
1 - Read. It will always give you something to do and will make you a more educated and interesting person.
2 - Never settle for less than you deserve. I found out that Mary was expecting my brother Hugh because she demanded that we be moved to the non-smoking section of them plane. (Yes, I do remember smoking and non-smoking sections of planes.) While her style, threatening to sue if Hugh was born with birth defects, may not be for everyone, the point is she knew what she had booked and what she wanted and didn't settle for less than that.
3 - Being a lady is more than wearing white gloves, Easter hats, and knowing what fork to use. It's about be generous with your time and your heart, and keeping your mouth shut sometimes no matter how much you want to speak up if it keeps the peace where peace is needed. Also, if you put a skirt on and then sit down with crossed legs and can feel the seat, your skirt is too short.
4 - Don't forget about yourself. While it's easy to sacrifice everything for your children, or to go the other direction and be all about yourself, there's a land in the middle. Live there. Know what you are not willing to give up, be it a weekly bridge game, a special weekend away every year, or a garden that makes you happy. You are not just your children and their accomplishments, you are your own person.
5 - Which leads me to - you can't have it all. While I think they're going to take my degree away for saying that, it's true. Life is full of compromises, and only you know what you're willing to give up. You should never feel bad about those choices, and you should never make someone else feel bad about theirs, but you do have to accept what comes from those choices.
6 - The ability to forgive and to accept forgiveness is an act of grace that everyone should learn. It may be bitter on either end, but you won't regret it in the long run.
7 - No matter what you do, your family will still take you in and God will forgive you.
8 - Hospitality starts with a feeling, not with a table setting. If you are excited and happy to see your guests, they will feel that and remember that more than what kind of china you used.
9 - Laughter is not always appropriate, but it's almost always appreciated. This is especially true at funerals or memorial services.
10 - Have a great smile, learn to drink and tell jokes like a man, never show fear, look pulled together but understated, and you can do almost anything.
They've also taught me specific things about being a mother.
1 - If you wouldn't want to her it from your mother, your child probably doesn't want to hear it from you.
2 - Babies will always stop crying. Don't take it personally. You will be amazed at how much you listen to your child cry and not try to do anything about it.
3 - Sometimes cereal for dinner is just fine.
4 - A glass of wine is a perfectly acceptable response to a temper tantrum.
5 - Learn to drink your coffee cold.
6 - While it may not be funny at the time, 90% of the time it will make a great story later.
7 - If you can't do, or have no interest in doing something, that's why children have chores and why people will clean your house or mow the lawn if you pay them.
8 - Pre-board as often as they will let you.
9 - Whatever you say in front of a child will come back out of their mouth at some point. See point #6.
10 - A hug, a kiss, and a band-aid can fix almost anything. If not, you can surgically staple their head shut in the bathroom with no long term damage.
Happy Mother's Day!!
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