While Mom's Away

I am in Las Vegas for a week for work (not nearly as fun as it sounds) and Matt and Amelia are enjoying some quality father/daughter time. Matt sent me this picture of her from when he went in to get her in the morning. It was just too adorable not to share.

I come home on Thursday and I'm counting the hours. This is the longest I've been away from Amelia and it's been hard. Especially since I missed this event last year because I was 38 weeks pregnant so running around Vegas was not ok with my doctor. So now everyone is asking about the baby and wanting to see pictures. I like to say she's a total joy and total chaos all at the same time.

I don't want to get into any sort of working mom vs stay at home mom debate, they both have their hardships. I love what I do, if not always where I do it, and I couldn't give that up, but times like this I begin to rethink it. Thankfully I don't travel that much, but even without that, it's hard to balance family vs job. I grew up with my mother working most of my childhood (but not till I was school age) and my step-mother works so much I don't even think she ever took more than 2 weeks of maternity leave, so I always assumed I would work. And while I may have my issues with my parents, as everyone does, them working was never something that felt it took time away from my time with them. Instead I saw two women who worked and climbed the ladder in their field and loved what they did. I think because my parents all do something that you have to have a calling to (mom's a nurse, step-mother is a doctor, step-father is a pastor, and dad is also a doctor) that it was always part of them and I never questioned it. While I feel drawn to my career, and feel I have the perfect eccentric personality for it, it's not a calling in the same way as medicine or the clergy. No one grows up saying I want to be a meeting and event planner. In the end, I will probably continue to work most of Amelia's childhood. But I'll always be trying to find the perfect balance between working and parenting, and it's a goal that no one ever reaches, but all you can do is try your best. As much as Amelia loves her nanny, she still knows that I'm her mom and I will do whatever I can to make her life as amazing as possible and I'll always be there when she needs me. And she knows the same of Matt. Because his work requires longer hours and more travel, he struggles with the family vs work problem even more than I do. But he's a great father, husband, and man and we couldn't ask for any more from him.

Ok, this post took a turn I was totally not expecting. Apparently I needed to get that off my chest. Sorry if it rambles a bit. I've been up way too long and worked way too much today that I think my body is going to start rebelling soon.

So to end this, almost all the lights one the Vegas Strip just went out in observance of some power consumption day (I heard about it on the news but that was 15 hours ago and I have completely forgotten the details.) I think that's a sign to go to sleep and get ready for another long day of work. Sorry it's so dark, but that's what happens when 1 billion lights go out.