Happy Father's Day to all the daddies out there, especially Matt. He is the best father I have ever seen. He's patient with Amelia, but never gives an inch to her testing boundaries. He laughs at her more outlandish antics. He encourages her to keep trying things till she can do them herself. And he gets up with her at 6 am, even on the weekends. Amelia loves him and every time I pick her up from daycare she asks if Daddy will be home. When I say "in a little while, he's working," she always replies with "AGAIN??" and then laughs. Any night that Matt isn't going to be home before she goes to bed, she's convinced he's at a hockey game. I've tried to explain that he doesn't do that right now, but I've given up. So now all evening activities are "Hockey Games." Recently she asked to have a picture of him in her room so she could sleep with it. After waking up with the frame on her face I convinced her that it's best to leave the photo on the bookcase. It moves every day, so I know she takes it down each night and I've even heard her talking to it. She may be in a mommy-phase, but she still likes to sit with Matt and tell him that she's his munchkin. And she is. Happy Father's Day Matt.
Last year, I did
a list of lessons learned from my Mothers and Grandmothers. This year will be what I learned from my Grandfather (Jug) and my father (George). My step-father Kent is wonderful, but he and my mom married the summer before my Senior year in high school, and even then we've never lived in the same house. I'm especially impressed with his devotion to family and how he's been able to turn my mother in to the Pastor's Wife (PW) without her changing her unique charm. I'll leave it at that before I get myself in trouble. My mother's father passed away before I was born and her second husband (whom I grew up with more than Kent) taught me to fine-tune my a$$hole detector. Beyond that, and being Roger's father, he has few redeeming qualities, so I'm not going to say anything else about him.
And so begins the lessons learned from Jug and George.
1) Education, Education, Education - my Grandfather came from a humble background, but with hard work and education, he was literally able to go from the assembly line to the Board room. He made sure his children and grandchildren went to good schools, and would have been so proud to see Anne graduate from Stanford. He sat on the Board for both Standford Law School and The Bishop's School (which is where all my cousins went and where my Dad and his siblings went.) He was a force to be reckoned with, and he made sure all his children and grandchildren lived up to their potential, as much as he could. My father has been the same way, and encouraged each of his children to go to Stanford. (So far he's 1 for 5, but has the potential to go 2 for 6) When we didn't want to go to Stanford (you could not have paid me to go there, even if I had been able to get in) he made sure to take us to visit different colleges so we were sure where we wanted to go. But he did try to color those decisions by taking me to Boston in February and then making me walk the Freedom Trail. I have never been so cold in my entire life.
2) Pick Your Battles - My father can role his eyes like no one else in the world. I think it and tennis are the only things that keep him sane. There wasn't much he didn't allow me to do, so when he would put his foot down, I tended to listen more than the average teenager. If it's not something life-threatening, gigantically stupid, or going to Cal, he would usually let you do it, but you knew exactly how he felt about it when he rolled his eyes.
3) Nicknames Last Forever - A friend of the family remarked that my Grandfather looked like "a little brown jug" when he was 2 and the nickname Jug stuck around his whole life. Most people called him Bill, but close friends and family still called him Jug until the day he died. I think this is why my father, and his mother, fought us calling my sister "Bunny" so hard, but eventually gave in. (Her real name - Alexandra Catherine) My Grandfather was George Williams R, II, my Dad is III and Will is IV. When Will was about 9 the Indiana Jones movies came out and Will figured out that Grandfather was a Junior, so he started calling Grandfather that. I think it lasted three days.
4) Travel - My Grandfather loved planes and traveled extensively for work at a time when it was rare. When he would go on trips he often took my father or one of his siblings. This showed them the world outside San Diego and gave them a perspective you can only get by seeing other cultures. My dad continued this tradition (for a number of years out family vacation was based on where the AIDS Conference was) and has taken his kids to South Africa, Sweden, Thailand, Vietnam, and everywhere in between.
5) Play A Sport You Can Play Forever - For Grandfather it was golf and for my Dad it's tennis. Beyond the exercise factor, you can make friendships that last a long time and you always have a hobby to go and enjoy when you need to get out of the house.
6) Know What You Are Talking About - Both men had the ability to know completely random facts that made them good at Jeopardy, but also knew history, languages, and had immense knowledge in their work field. They are always reading and learning new things. I once corrected my father on the flavoring in a dish in front of some of his residents. He said "That's right. I was wrong." The resident sitting next to me whispered "I've never seen Dr. R be wrong before." I managed to not laugh or choke on my drink.
7) Love Deeply - My Grandfather spent the last years of his life fighting Alzheimer's, but on the day my Grandmother died, he sat and held her hand, told her he loved her and never took his eyes off her. Once she had passed he gave her one last kiss before leaving. I sat next to him at her funeral and it's the only time I have ever see him cry. My father's younger (and only) brother passed away suddenly and quickly a few years later. My Dad and uncle were extremely close and I've never seen heartbreak like the look on my Dad's face after my uncle's ashes were put in the columbarium. On a less depressing note, he's loving being a Grandfather. Amelia can do no wrong and I hear that he brags about her quite a bit.
8) To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Expected - My Grandfather's generosity knew no bounds. He gave of himself both with time and money. There are too many stories to tell, but it was really amazing. My father has made his work all about finding cures and disease prevention. It really is about making the world a better place. While his training was in pediatrics, he's now an epidemiologist working on projects and grants around the world. Which is way better than him being a pediatrician. He has the worst bedside manner and never sugar coats anything. EVER. He also tries to be in his children's lives as much as possible. He's coached soccer games and sat on committees at the VA just to spend more time with his kids.
My Grandfather passed away almost four years ago, and I still think of him everyday. I can honestly say that I am a better person for having Jug as my Grandfather and George as my father. While no one is perfect, they do try and act in the best possible interest of their children and grandchildren. And for that I will be forever grateful. Happy Father's Day.
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